It may seem surface-level + stupid obvious, but listen up. In a lot of my conversations surrounding beauty and pampering, women feel guilty about their regimen. There can be a negative association with it of high-maintenance, vanity, “basic”...all which contribute to shaming a woman’s sense of allowing herself to be treated like a Queen.
First off, don’t feel badly about the money you spend on self-care in terms of beauty. So long as you budget it, creating opportunities to de-stress and honor your body are a mother bleeping INVESTMENT in your well-being. Aside from the fact that regular massage, facials, pedicures, [insert your pamper de choix] are a fantastic part of wellness - it helps strengthen your self-love and sense of worth.
You don’t need to go to a spa, either! Shopping for this stuff is beyond exciting. I’ve spent over an hour in @janegee picking out a bath bomb. Nothing beats a good masque (I’m fancy AF with my spelling). They are so fun and inexpensive to make, and there are a ton of great ones to buy. Bring the spa to you, m’lady. Smear that masque all over your life, light a candle or 47, and bliss out to a guided meditation (or watch Friends).
Amp up your day-to-day routine. Drink seltzer with a lime twist out of a champagne flute. Make your bedroom an oasis with turn down (self) service, start your humidifier, and spray an essential oil mist on your pillows. Creatively plate and style your food. These are simple and require little extra effort. Start your car to heat it up a bit so you enjoy your commute more. Put on some music and fire up the essential oil diffuser while you make dinner or meal prep. Sprinkle a favorite oil blend in your shower to enhance the experience. Anything you feel like doing to upgrade your normal.
Make skincare and general hygiene a ritual. These are also small things that make a huge impact. Take time washing your hair, massaging your scalp and neck. In fact, do this when washing your face, putting on oil/lotion, brushing your teeth, combing your hair...do it with intention. You’re body is beautiful - let it know! Try massaging oil into your legs while you thank them for all they do and tell them how much you love them. I’m dead serious - you’ll feel amazing.
Pampering is an opportunity to slow down and connect with yourself, bringing a little more gentle compassion to the nooks and crannies of your Self that need a little more love. Especially if you have a hard time doing things for yourself, pampering is a great way to start building new habits and self-care routines. It creates the standard of how you are to be treated and strengthens your intuition. It’ll help redefine your body image and spark a deeper friendship with yourself, influencing you to WANT to make the investment in yourself deeper than your (flawless) skin.
Self-Care is on the rise, but in its popularity it may be more confusing than ever to navigate your own definition. You see people sharing their “self-care” in contradicting forms from eating McDonalds in bed to slapping on a face mask and drinking kombucha. Though the term is trending and possibly misunderstood, self-care has never been more personal. Self-Care is, after all, Self-Love.
Self-Care can be hard, man. At least in the deepest sense of it all. Self-Care is boundary-setting, gut-honoring, and beautifully selfish. It’s knowing your needs and acknowledging your Self. It is securing your own oxygen mask first, honoring yourself as the priority. As my friend @micaylaajean put it: “It’s easy to post a photo of your crystals, sage and relaxing tea, but the work that goes below the surface takes time, dedication and saying “no” a lot to some of the most recognizable and easy connections.” Self-Care is putting in the work.
Self-Care is also standing in your power and being your own healer. Harnessing your intuition and feeding your body and soul with whole, real things. Cutting out the toxins and additives by way of food, people, and anything you give your mindless attention to. It replaces self-deprecation, self-loathing, and stands way up to self-sabotage. It’s how to live wild and free
Self-Care is also doing whatever the fuck you want, so long as it is with kindness, honesty, and respect. Whether you need to release stress, go inward, pump adrenaline, strengthen boundaries - it’s all valid. If eating that Big Mac in bed is what you need - do it. If you want to learn to play the guitar - do it. If you need to shut your phone off all day and sit in your tub singing Gloria Estefan songs - you do you. Regardless of how close or deep to the surface.
Stay tuned for the Self-Care Series: Living Wild & Free!