March 07th, 2019

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You’ve heard the term “it takes a village”, right? While self-acceptance, self-love, and ultimately self-care are crafted from within, we sometimes need a little help. A BIG self-care win is acknowledging the necessity of the right external resources. I use the term “curate” with the utmost intention as mindfully crafting your soul-gang is crucial to your success and happiness. Finding the right players for your team can be a lot like dating. It may take a few attempts before finding the right fit, but you are too incredible to settle for anything less. These are the people you can be the most vulnerable with and who honor your well-being. Today, I am sharing what my team looks like.

The Therapist
We often associate therapy with being lost or at our weakest, but therapy plays a bigger part in our self-care. Yes, therapy is amazing for working through singular hardships or issues, but it’s even better as part of maintaining your emotional eco-system. Our society encourages therapy to be categorized as a private matter you don’t speak about, which leads to shame and feelings of inadequacy for needing help. With the right therapist, you have an objective resource who will help you excavate the bullshit, digging deeper to your core to heal self-limiting beliefs and rewrite narratives we have downloaded to become our identity. A therapy session is a safe space to feel guiltless in your sharing with the undivided attention of someone who knows what the fuck they’re talking about. Sometimes I see my therapist once a week. Sometimes I see her once a month. From her guidance, I am now able to tap into when I need a little more help in working through what’s happening in my life - the good and the ugly.

The Mentor
What’s your passion? Who do you admire that is seemingly living your dream? Mentors are an amazing resource as an example of what goes into creating your happiness and fulfillment. We often feel as if we need to do it all on our own to be truly successful. For it to be authentic. However, these are the people that inspire you and can be wonderful role models to emulate. If you want to be like someone because you respect the shit out of them, adopting their tried and true’s into your own life can help you to become YOUR version of what you admire about them. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel, so don’t be afraid to ask for some of their time to ask how they got to where they are, what worked and didn’t, so on and so forth. Keep in mind that all humans are flawed and by no means perfect, but watching those who help ignite your soul in a positive way are worth fangirling over!

The Healer(s)
These are the soul-magicians that help provide relief, balance, and can tap into the deepest nooks and crannies to help you feel in harmony and aligned within yourself. As living beings, we have constant energy flowing through and around us. Reiki practitioners, acupuncturists, shamans, intuitives, and massage therapists (to name a few!) help to rid your being of stale, stagnant energy and replace it with vibrant, fresh energy to elevate your life experience. Healers also can assist in finding the right way for you to tune inward and work with yourself to recognize your needs, how to rid toxic energy from your life, and how to keep those good vibes rollin’ in the face of anything. There is often so much going on within our own selves and healers aid in tapping into that energy source. In an age where we are accustom to modern medicine and are endlessly seeking a magic pill, healers have the ability to help mend you from the inside out. Ancient techniques, philosophies, and crafts bring a more grounding approach to clearing out the clutter. This is one part of your squad that often gets left behind because it is often viewed as a luxury. Massage is a part my self-care, and I used to feel really guilty about it. I would find myself justifying and apologizing why. I get a monthly massage to help with my chronic body pain, but I also do it because it feels fucking awesome and I connect deeply to myself as I release deep-rooted congestion. You wouldn’t not go get your oil changed right? Why neglect your own energy field?

The Crew
Who are your people? Are they in your inner circle because they unconditionally love and support you? Do they value and respect your time and dreams? Do they encourage, challenge, celebrate, and uplift you? Do you feel energized or a greater sense of peace when around them? Do you feel seen, understood, and recognized? Do you basically feel just SO. FREAKIN. GOOD. in their presence? If you said no to any of those questions...honey, those ain’t yo people! A huge part of self-care is aligning yourself with people who not only want to see you shine, but lift you up and polish the shit out of you so the whole world can see it. These are the people that hold space for you at your highest and lowest. We spend a great deal of time investing in people who don’t meet us halfway and don’t believe in our dreams. They don’t want to read our story. The right people in your life will support you even when they don’t understand you. That’s what a posse is all about.

The Esthetician/Hair Stylist/Person who makes you feel fly AF
These folks for SURE deserve a place when curating your team! A big part of self-care is taking care of your hot bod and treating it like the GD temple it is. Find someone who you look forward to seeing and who listens to what makes you feel beautiful and genuine in your own skin. Beauty is nothing to feel vain or selfish over. We are all entitled to spend time, energy, and money on “adorning our temples” as Ashley Sterns of Blush puts it. If you are sitting there filling in the blank of “I’m not _____ enough for that”, I want you to know you are so damn incredible and deserve to feel beautiful. Whether it’s getting a manicure or a random blowout - you do you, Boo.
Who do you want on your team and who doesn’t make the band? Please know you are entitled to an entourage who sees how magnificent you truly are. Hold these people close and let them know how appreciated they are. Life isn’t always easy to maneuver, and you don’t have to do it alone. Cheers to you and your peeps!